Dear John

I like John's class but I am never one of his favorite students. Surprisingly for a person who lacks life experience and social skills, I am pretty good at handling these kinds of situation. The trick is simply 'be myself'.

As Forrest Gump put it this way: 'That day, for no particular reason, I decided to go for a little run.' The words hit me when I first watched the movie. And they hit me again last year April. Therefore, I found myself an old pair of sweatpants, an oversized cotton t-shirt and dusted off my sneaker. I showed up at John's class.

"If you are new or newish..." He stopped beside me. "You might want to move to the front." He said. However, in my opinion the best spot for me was as close as to the exit. I was very sure I could not stand to the end of the class. My reaction to his advice made him walk away for couple of months.

I was clumsy. I was out of breathe. I fell. I was beaten up by kickboxing. John didn't say a single word to me. Instead, he observed me struggling. I kept coming back to his class and every time I probably convinced him it was my last time showing up there.

Slowly, I catch up. He started correcting my moves and enjoyed confusing me with his puzzle-like instructions. One day, after a complicated combo, I retreated to the corner for water. He walked pass me and pat me on the shoulder without a word. I nodded back at him with respect.

As my fitness level increased, I had several opportunities to try out other sports, including one invitation to practice marathon. I gave a thought but declined them. I can imagine the achievement of reaching a challenging goal set to your body through discipline and hard work. However, I could not give myself a proper reason. I didn't care too much about my body fat, muscle shape or weight. I was pretty sure I was headstrong already, maybe too much of it which gave me headache as well.

One day I had a phone chat with a runner. She is leading an organization to encourage homeless people to run with her. "You will remember the smiles on their faces. I believe running can help them find the confidence they lost long time ago." She said softly and determinately. " I wish I could join you." I said.

For years, I always felt there was one piece missing in my wardrobe. The feeling kept me looking around and around. Now I figured out the solution to the puzzle. The missing piece is my confidence, my strength and my smile. And John's class, as a hint of the puzzle, takes me to make a deal with my stubborn mind.

I started to inspire people around me going to gym or trying out John's class. Some of them stayed with me. Some of them didn't. It doesn't matter. Spotting the smile on their faces makes me feel like I just completed a marathon.